Wednesday, January 28, 2004

My wife has discovered and is on a rampage of “decluttering” our house. I’m afraid . . . very afraid. I’m going to have to hide all my good junk until this storm blows over. I mean, I NEED all those computer component boxes under my desk, right? And how could I live without my rubbing of Stevie Ray Vaughn’s gravestone? And I might need those old pocketknives someday.Maybe it’s time for men to unite. It’s time to get our good and valuable stuff out of the garage and back into the home where it belongs! Away with frilly curtains! Down with doilies! Up with duct tape and hunting tropies! Get those lacy things OFF my stereo speakers! Move your teacup collection and make room for my beer steins! And what the heck are those stupid little lacy pillows doing on the bed?Then again, I suppose I would rather be married to my lovely wife than buried by her in the back yard. But I still demand at least the garage for myself. (Sigh) Now I just have to wait for the day when I’ll have one again . . .

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