For every pastor and church leader, there are three simple rules for being the best leader you can be:
1) Be true to God and His Word
2) Be true to your people.
3) Be true to yourself.
The first two are simple and straightforward. Study the Word to show yourself a workman approved. Love God and love others. I suggest that if pastors and church leaders would do those two things and do them well, 90% of church problems and issues would resolve themselves without much effort.
It's the third one, though, that seems hardest. God has made you to be you. With your talents, your strengths, your gifts. He has made you to be as you are, and not as someone else wants you to be. When you operate from within your God-given strengths, you are working from within the framework God has established for your life. When you try to please others by attempting to become something you are not, you are working against the very person God has created you to be.
The solution? Stop trying to please others and start loving them.